Matthew Coppins

Our little boy Matthew came into the world on June 14th 2003. Instead of the usual excitement from the hospital staff in the room, there was a less than enthusiastic response to his birth. He didn't give out the usual lusty cry of a newborn baby, but more of a meek cat-like cry. He couldn't maintain his body temperature at first so had to go under a heat-lamp to warm up. It was all so different from the birth of his older sister Rachael. A paediatrician was called in to check on our little baby, and it was then we were told they suspected he had Down's Syndrome.

Different people deal with the diagnosis in different ways. We were lucky, in that we had always intended to adopt a child with Down's Syndrome, after we'd had 'two of our own' - someone had other plans! Still, the news was hard to digest. The little boy we'd been longing for, expecting everything was absolutely fine, we were now told wasn't perfect. 12 hours after his birth, he was checked over, and we were allowed to take him home. We felt it would be easier to come to terms with the news, at home, as a family, in our own safe place. And we cried.

Matthew at 3 weeks old

The following week he had to have his routine heart scan - routine for children with Down's Syndrome, as about 50% have some congenital heart defect. Matthew was found to have a complete AVSD (Atrio-Ventricular Septal defect) which meant he had a hole right in the middle of the four chambers of his heart, so the blood was mixing and could potentially have left him breathless, blue, tired and sweaty.

As the weeks went on, we were very lucky and found Matt was an incredibly healthy boy. The heart defect did put more strain on his body, and he had to be put on high energy milk, and was started on heart medication as a precaution, but he never showed any symptoms of having a heart problem. His paediatrician agreed that had she not known because she was his doctor, even she wouldn't have known he had a heart defect!

It felt, for the first few weeks at least, like we spent most of our time going from one hospital appointment to another. However, after a while it all calmed down, and we had time to enjoy our baby. Matt experienced his sister's 2nd birthday party by having a dip in the paddling pool - he was not impressed! He had his first family holiday at 7 weeks, and enjoyed it about as much as any very young baby would - eating, sleeping, etc! He started at the local nursery when I returned to work and loved all the attention he got there. Contrary to what we expected (and had been told) Matt was never poorly and developed well, which was brilliant - and slept very little which wasn't so good!

At the beginning of December, Matt's open heart surgery was scheduled at Glenfield Hospital, Leicester. It was a horrible time. Handing your child over to a surgeon is the worst thing I have ever had to do. That said, once he was out of sight, we felt at peace and filled the time with visiting a friend in Leicester and playing with Rachael. Looking back now, I wonder how we were ever able to stay so calm! After about 4 hours we went to see Matt in PICU, and although he was attached to all kinds of machines and stuff, it was lovely just to know he was alive. After 24hrs there, he went to the cardiac ward, and only 4 days after surgery, he came home! It is amazing how quickly babies can recover.

3 weeks after surgery (6 1/2 months old)	playing with his toys (7 1/2 months old)

Life ever since, has just taken on a new definition of 'normal'! You forget what life was like before 'Down's Syndrome'! When Matt was born with the diagnosis, we have always felt that we would try to help him, as much as possible, to reach his full potential (whatever that may be). Every week we go to the City Hospital Children's Centre baby group, where Matthew has fun with other babies, and take part in multi-sensory activities. Matthew also attends Rutland House, where he is helped with his 'walking', 'speaking', etc. All these are fun activities, and I am sure, have helped him to develop to the stage he is at now. (And they are equally enjoyed by older sister, Rachael, who can play with the other older siblings there.) He has Portage at home to help him with his fine motor development, etc. He goes to the Down's Clinic where he can access speech therapy, physiotherapy, etc, as well as meet all the other children with Down's Syndrome and their parents.

Matt is now 18mths old, and a joy to have in our household. He loves being with his big sister. I suppose it's like any other normal sister/brother relationship. One minute they're cuddling each other, the next he's pulling her hair or clonking her over the head with the nearest toy! (Don't worry, she gets him back!) Most of the time, though, Matt is (and I hate to say this, as it seems to reinforce the stereotype!) a happy and loving little boy. He is full of energy, whizzes around the house at some speed, loves playing with water - I know I should have wised up by now, but so often he is found with the dog bowl on his head, soaked to the skin and a huge smile on his face! He gives huge sloppy kisses and cuddles when you ask for one, knows some Makaton signs which help him to communicate, loves doing actions to nursery rhymes, and making animal noises! He has amazed and surprised us how quick he is to learn new things. He has recently started to 'walk' alone and is so proud of his accomplishment, as are we!

With big sister Rachel
(on his 1st birthday)

We don't know the future for Matthew, but we are enjoying the present. We are not unduly worried about it either. If we give Matt all the opportunities, like any other child, to reach his full potential, to help him to become a considerate, kind man who can positively contribute to society in his own way, we - and more importantly, HE - will be happy. There is no reason why he won't learn to read and write, make long-lasting friendships, get a job, get married one day, and live independently (or at least semi-).

When Matthew was born we chose his name as it means 'Gift of God'. We didn't ask for him to have Down's Syndrome but he does, and now we wouldn't have him any other way. His middle name, Isaac, means 'laughter' and he certainly brings, and will continue to bring, happiness and joy to our family and others that he meets. When Matt was born we were disappointed that he wasn't perfect. Now, we truly know that he is.